'Disaster Movie' (PG-13)

"Disaster Movie" is aptly named. The movie is a disaster. It's a mish-mash of pratfalls, gross-outs, little people, glam models, bad costumes and lame jokes.

The production had a lot of promise. Promoted as a movie made by the filmmaking team behind the hits "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie," the spoof was supposed to poke holes and fun at the disaster movie genre.

The trailer for the film also showed that it would spoof some of the most recent movies playing at the Cineplex, including "Sex and the City," "Wanted," "High School Musical" and the multitude of action movies with superheroes, "Hancock," "Hellboy," "Incredible Hulk" and "The Dark Knight."

"Disaster Movie" tries to have some semblance of a plot. A handsome 20-something named Will (Matt Lanter) who can't commit to his girlfriend Amy (overly spray-tanned Vanessa Mannillo) keeps dreaming of the final day of Earth's existence, which just so happens to be Aug. 29 -- the date the real movie opens in theaters. (What will happen on the DVD release date?)

In the middle of Will's 16th birthday party (he's actually celebrating his mid-20s), partygoers find themselves in the midst of a catastrophic event -- asteroids, twisters and earthquakes are falling fast and furiously, as are plenty of plunging necklines revealing a ridiculous amount of cleavage.

The movie gets off to a shaky start with a parody of "10,000 BC," a film that didn't need to be parodied since it was so cheesy on its own. As a prehistoric man runs for his life from some giant creature with a large foot, he's crushed into a pile of feces. Gross-out No. 1.

After he's recuperated from being slimed, he runs into Wolf from "American Gladiators" and singer Amy Winehouse, whose craggly teeth and hairy armpits are Gross-out No. 2. (I lost track after that since there were so many gross-outs including a pregnant woman's lactating milk, placenta and blood. You get the picture.)

Somewhere along the line, moviegoers get roped i nto a spoof of World Wrestling Entertainment as Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian face off in the ring. This display is purely to get a rise out of the 14-year-old boys in the audience. For most everyone else, this may be the point where you want to demand your $9 back.

The movie lumbers on with the same old slapstick; "Kung Fu Panda's" Po takes on comedian Gary "G-Thang" Johnson (Calvin) in a duel, while Will battles Beowulf, who is struggling with a gender identity issue. There are plenty of painful hits to male genitalia. All right, we get it already; it hurts. Is it really that funny?

There are some shades of hilarity. Alvin and the Chipmunks turn from cute puppets into heavy metal monsters, and swipes at Hannah Montana, "Juno," Jessica Simpson, Justin Timberlake, and Michael Jackson show glimpses of creativity.

The filmmakers behind this spoof should have spent their days and nights watching those real parodies that still have resonance: "Airplane," "Blazing Saddles" and "Young Frankenstein." Unfortunately, the fate of "Disaster Movie" has been sealed.