A little more than two weeks into his new 11:35 p.m. time slot, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel was ousted from his gig by actor Matt Damon, who brought out a plethora of A-list stars to help him hijack the show.
“The Departed” actor has been the butt of a long-running joke on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Kimmel has joked for the past 10 years at the end of his show that he ran out of time and was unable to bring Damon on as a guest.
Damon got his revenge Thursday night when he “kidnapped” Kimmel and duct-taped him to a chair and gagged him with a tie. Damon hosted the entire show as Kimmel watched from the back of the stage.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long, long time,” Damon said during the monologue. “This is like the time I lost my virginity, except this is going to last way longer than one second.”
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Damon replaced Kimmel’s band leader with Sheryl Crow, who performed her new single. Damon made a few other significant changes, including renaming the show to “Jimmy Kimmel Sucks.” Kimmel’s trusted sidekick, Guillermo, was replaced by Andy Garcia, who continued to speak in Guillermo’s broken-English accent.
“There’s a new host in town and his initials are M.D. That’s right, the doctor is in,” Damon said. “I am Luke Skywalker and [Kimmel] is the Death Star. Big and round and easily destroyed through his garbage hole.”
Damon’s best friend, Ben Affleck, had a walk-on role as a cue-card boy and turned out to be Kimmel’s only ally. Affleck held up cue cards describing Kimmel as a great guy and a good lover before storming off the set.
Nicole Kidman, Gary Oldman, Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon and Demi Moore all joined Damon as his guests. Kidman admitted to being a kleptomaniac while Witherspoon brought two bags of alcohol to the couch.
Jennifer Lopez, Sally Field, John Krasinski, Robert De Niro, Don Cheadle and Oprah Winfrey appeared via video and congratulated “The Bourne Identity” star for ousting Kimmel for the night.
Kimmel’s ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman appeared as Damon’s final guest.
“Is there anything you’d like to say to Jimmy?” Damon asked.
“No, I’m good,” Silverman replied as she looked at Kimmel.
When the show came to its conclusion, Damon turned the table on Kimmel and denied him the chance to speak.