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Becoming CEO At Home

Mom Settles Into Role As Household Leader

POSTED: 6:22 am PDT April 26, 2007

I never thought I'd have the chance to be the head honcho so soon.

I'm still young in my career -- and in age. It is only of late that I achieved middle management at work.

However, since I had my son last year, it seems I've taken on a new leadership role. I'm CEO of my house.

This isn't something I bargained for when I had my son. My domestic life had previously been very equitable. My husband and I divvied up duties such as grocery shopping, picking up the dry cleaning and cleaning up the house.

Then we had a child.

Ever since, I've been thrown into a leadership position I'm just not all that familiar with. When it comes to my son, I'm in charge. Whatever I say goes. I'm the chief, the woman at the helm. No one disagrees with my decisions -- or if they do, they don't dare say anything.

Just as a CEO is surrounded by a strong management team, I am surrounded by a dedicated executor of my domain, my husband. In the last year he has taken on two important sub-roles that ensure our society stays intact.

He relishes his role as chief financial officer, which allows him to closely monitor superfluous spending -- like that new diaper bag I want. He also, by trade, is our family's general counsel, which comes in handy when I get a pesky parking ticket.

I also have lots of vocal shareholders, also known as the grandparents. I run a busy household, and it takes a lot of discipline to manage the budgets, ensure the supply chain is working and that ensure my constituents get a good return on their investment.

That is, I make sure I have enough cash to pay the nanny, that we don't run out of diapers and that the family gets to visit as often as they like.

I'm not sure how I got into this position of power. Most business leaders I read about put in long hours, received a lot of on-the-job training, and usually were appointed by a mentor.

I survived 10 hours of labor and have the right combination of chromosomes and body parts.

As mother, I'm the go-to resource for all things baby. If something breaks down in the system it falls on me, and I'm the one who typically figures out how to make it right.

One challenge was sleep training.

But unlike reading an employee training manual to get up to speed on company policies, there's no turn-key solution for getting your kid to sleep through the night. I tried and tried by reading and reading like a good corporate hack. I studied up on all the experts, talked to friends and doctors, and decided on a plan of action. I came up with a special strategy for sleep training.

When I told my husband that my implemention plan could not start for four months, he responded with a nod and a "whatever you say."

A chairman's board should have it so easy!

At four months, I adhered to strict sleep training rules and, lo and behold, my son slept through the night. I had passed my first true test as leader with flying colors.

That's the good news. But as a result of my first success, I then took on far more responsibility than I had ever planned on. Overnight, it was as if I had become leader of the free mom world. My husband looked to me for all decision making and, worse, people actually called me for advice.

Does the fact that we're all a little more well-rested around my household mean that I have to make all the decisions?

"What's Junior going to eat for dinner tonight?" my husband will ask.
"I don't know," I reply.

"Do you think it's too cold to take Junior for a walk this afternoon?"
"I don't know."

"Do you think Junior has an ear infection?"
"I don't know!! Do I look like an ear, nose and throat doctor?"

I'm just his mother, not a soothsayer.

All I wanted was to have a healthy, happy child. I'm not that all that interested in being Dr. Spock. But I guess it comes with the territory.

In reality, I fear the day that I'm asked to step aside from my position for someone else, like my son's first best friend or girlfriend.

So I guess I'm OK holding onto my role for a little bit longer. Just don't ask me to sleep-train your child.

Sara R. Fisher is a new mom trying to look hip, work hard and raise a child -- all at the same time. Her column appears every other Thursday. You can read more from her at her blog, Self-Made Mom.
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