Thanks to the Center for Science in the Public Interest and other groups that specialize in terrifying us about what we eat, anyone on the planet who doesn't know that french fries don't exactly qualify as health food likely lives either in a house with some sort of woven grass for a roof or has a lovely fire pit in the main cave.

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The fact is that french fries don't add a whole lot to the nutritional picture of your daily diet. That's not to say they're completely without benefit. McDonald's large fries give you 15 percent of your daily vitamin C and 10 percent of your iron … along with 570 calories and 47 percent of your recommended daily fat intake.

We eat fries for one simple reason: They taste good. The human craving for salty flavors is genetically programmed. Our primate brains were programmed to find the taste of salt enjoyable because it's vital for our survival. That large order of fries gives you 14 percent of your daily sodium needs, so your monkey mind jumps up and down on its tree branch and rejoices.

Of course, we can't forget the junk food gland. That's a little-known piece of the endocrine system that causes us to crave anything deep-fried. Overstimulation of this gland is what has brought things like deep-fried Oreos and Snickers bars into existence.

Rather than boring you with yet more information on how bad fries are for you, I decided to gather my intrepid tasting panel and set forth to determine which of the big three burger chains has the best-tasting fries. To be fair, all the fries were bought between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m., the busy dinner hour when fries should be selling quickly and thus be the freshest, and the panel visited two different locations of each restaurant on different days.

The tasting panel consisted of four adults, two girls ages 9 and 7, and my 2-year-old son, Quinn. Before you cluck at me for feeding a toddler such a vast quantity of fries, be aware that he was allowed only a minimal sampling and was fed a diet composed exclusively of carrot sticks, milk, lean chicken and fresh fruit otherwise.

There were serious questions as to his ability to be impartial, given that he at this age finds Play-Doh as delicious as chocolate cake, so his input was not solicited to a great extent.

The Frydeal

Before we began tasting, we had to set a high bar toward which all the tasted fries should strive. For this ideal fry, the frydeal, if you will, I chose those made by Five Guys Burgers and Fries, a primarily East Coast-based chain that may be the best takeout burger joint on the planet.

Five Guys' fries arrive at each restaurant as whole potatoes, which are cut fresh daily and double-cooked. This method involves immersion in low-temperature oil to cook the inside of the fry followed by flash-frying in very hot oil to crisp the outside. The fries are then tossed in a paper bag with a seasoning blend and served.

The end product is one of the pinnacles of fry-making. And, most importantly, the last fry is just as good as the first one. That is one of the criteria by which the burger chains' fries were evaluated, and you'll soon see how important it was.

So, without further ado, the test results:

Wendy's:

• Price (large order): $1.69
• Nutritional highlights: 7 grams protein, 10 percent daily vitamin C and iron
• Nutritional lowlights: 540 calories, 26 grams fat, 550 milligrams sodium

I've always had a soft spot for Wendy's. From the square burgers to the chili to the excellent chicken sandwiches, the chain has always given good value for the money, and Dave Thomas was one of the greatest pitchmen in ad history.

If we had only given them one try, Wendy's would have won hands-down. On the first visit, the fries were hot and fresh, with an outstanding balance of crispy outside to tender inside. They were the thickest fries of all tested, with a very good use of salt that complemented the flavor without turning them into little salt licks. There were no burnt fries, and the size consistency throughout was excellent.

The last fry out of the order did show a significant decline from the first, indicating these are likely the sort of fries you'd want to munch on the way home from the drive-through.

The second visit, however, was a severe letdown. The fries were dried-out and overcooked, and seemed almost unsalted. They even failed the toddler test, with Quinn being far more interested in trying to build structures out of the board-like fries than in eating them. The girls vowed that even ketchup could not rescue these rejects from inedibility.

A "last-fry" test wasn't necessary on the second order, as they couldn't have gotten any colder than they were when served.

McDonald's

• Price: (large order): $1.39
• Nutritional highlights: 6 grams protein, 15 percent daily vitamin C, 10 percent daily iron
• Nutritional lowlights: 570 calories, 30 grams fat, 330 milligrams sodium

McDonald's fries are legendary and have been the downfall of dieters since the chain debuted. Even famed gastronome James Beard sang their praises. In the first few decades of McDonald's existence, the secret of the flavor was the fact that the fries were cooked in a blend that was roughly 7 percent cottonseed oil and 93 percent beef tallow. That gave the fries their slightly meaty taste. In 1990, McD's bowed to massive public outcry and switched to 100 percent vegetable oil, thus lowering dramatically the saturated fat content.

The flavor today comes from a mixture of "natural" flavors known only to the upper echelons in McDonaldland. The recipe is likely kept in the same vault as the recipe for Coke.

One reason for the success of both the chain and the fries can be seen in the tasting panel's two visits: In each case, the fries were nearly identical in freshness, texture and flavor. I'm relying on the adult impressions here, as the girls' long-term memory tends to be occupied more with things like upcoming Bratz doll releases and such.

These were the thinnest fries of any tested, almost qualifying as "shoestring" cut. They still managed to have a crispy outside and tender inside, although there were some burnt fries and the occasional soggy one. With such small fries, it's hard to keep them from clumping in the fryer.

The flavor was good, with that famous "beefy" taste that always reminds me of low-budget steak frites, and an excellent salty balance. The last fry out of the order was almost as good as the first.

Burger King

• Price (large order): $1.75
• Nutritional highlights: 5 grams protein, other nutrients not listed
• Nutritional lowlights: 500 calories, 28 grams fat, 820 milligrams sodium

Since going through a corporate crisis in the '90s, Burger King has invested over $1 billion in buying back poorly run franchises and revamping its corporate identity. BK is now known as the champion of excess, as the whopping sodium count in their fry order will attest. The home of such delicacies as the Quad Stacker and the Enormous Omelet Sandwich holds true to form across the menu.

The Whopper has long been my favorite burger from any of the Big Three chains, and I've probably eaten more Burger King fries over the years than any others. But all that consumption had to go by the wayside for the testing.

Just as with McDonald's, the fries from Burger King were remarkably similar. They were hot, chunkier than the McD's fries and bore noticeable salt crystals in abundance. There was a hint of sweetness, but it was largely bludgeoned by the saltiness. The tender/crisp balance was excellent, and the golden-brown color was the best of any tested.

I'm disqualifying my own opinions here, as my love for all things salty is well known. The other testers found the salt level to be too high, although Quinn showed the "salt tooth" is hereditary by trying to cadge fries off all testers after his small handful was consumed. The saltiness was a deal-buster, placing the BK fries solidly in third place in our voting.

In the end, the McDonald's fries were nearly a runaway winner, with the adults and kids agreeing that as a standalone dish, they were the most enjoyable. Had the Wendy's fry quality been consistent, the results would have been different, but Dave Thomas' corporate creation had to settle for second place.

Now, maybe I can sell my bosses on the need for a strawberry milkshake comparison …

Check TurnTo23.com all week for these great diet-related features:

Monday -- Weight-Loss Gadgets Go High Tech

Tuesday -- Can You Find A Healthy French Fry?

Wednesday -- Are Salads Sabotaging Your Diet?

Thursday -- Do Coffee Drinks Fit Into Your Diet?

Friday -- Which Cocktails Fit Into Your Diet?

More Extras:

• 14 Ways To Save While Dining Out
• Deciphering Food Labels
• All About Genetically Engineered Food
• What Is The Trans Fat Ban About?