From conception, many parents begin to dread talking about "the birds and the bees" with their children.

Merritt Patterson, a mother of four from University Park, Texas, waited for her 10-year-old to approach her before addressing the subject.

"I'm so bad about all of this," Patterson admits. "When my 10-year-old daughter asked about where babies come from I used a line from a friend and told her that the man 'plants a seed in the mom.' That seems to have worked for now."

According to experts and parents who have already given the awkward lecture, the key is to start early, before children's heads are filled with misconceptions and playground gossip.

Mary Flo Ridley, a Dallas-based motivational speaker, has been teaching parents how to talk to their children about sex for more than 10 years. While many parents save up for one big talk, Ridley said that's usually not the best approach.

"It's better to have lots of little conversations, to go bit by bit," Ridley said. "To have what our society calls 'the talk' is not effective."

Ridley said conversations should be ongoing but recommends that parents address the subject early, at least before their children start school and again before puberty.

Wait With Girls?

As parents think about broaching the subject, questions of age and gender come up. When is it appropriate to talk about sex, and should they wait longer with girls?

According to Ridley, gender has little to do with when it's the right time to address the issue. Some children are naturally curious; With others, parents will have to take a proactive approach.

"Some children have a naturally higher sense of modesty, and others will ask a ton of questions and go a 1,000 miles a minute." Ridley said. "It doesn't seem to have any ties to gender."

Ridley said this is common because parents are normally uncomfortable or embarrassed. Jason Faulk, a single father of two boys from Garland, Texas, recently had "the talk" with his 11-year-old.

"I took the proactive approach," Faulk said. "[And before doing so] I consulted the Bible for strength and wisdom to say the right thing."

Patterson said she found also found herself turning to religion and family values while talking with her daughter.

"I always wanted to be so open, one of those parents who is so easy to talk to," she said. "I realized I was guiding the talk with morals instead of biology. I was trying to fit in too many things like, 'When you're married' and 'When God tells you it's time to have a baby.'"

Think Before You Talk

Regardless of moral beliefs or religion, Ridley said it is important for parents to think about their values before considering talking to their children. Family values help them understand the full impact of the information parents deliver.

"The first step is to not talk at all and to consider what you want do want your children to know about sex, purposes, and values," Ridley said. "Once firm on that, then start answering questions."

While it was awkward, Faulk said talking with his son has strengthened their relationship. "I was nervous at first, but now we have an extremely open line of communication -- sometimes maybe too open," he said with a laugh.

Respect The Body

In many families, parents and children use goofy, technically incorrect words to describe sexual parts. But when addressing the subject of sex with your children, Ridley said it's important to use the appropriate vocabulary because it shows a respect for the body.

"If you use really silly words then they think it's a silly thing," Ridley said. "But if you show that you know what you're talking about, you'll sound more medical and authoritative and your children will be more likely to come to you with questions."

But the biggest mistake parents make, Ridley said, is assuming that if their children haven't asked questions then they don't know anything, or the time isn't right. Parents routinely tell her their children are sheltered and know nothing.

"I tell them, 'If she breathes, she knows something,'" Ridley said.

Children are assaulted with information every day from their schoolmates, various forms of media and all sorts of societal forces, Ridley said. Assuming they know nothing because they haven't approached parents with questions is a mistake.

"If you're going to have to explain to your 11-year-old how Britney Spears' sister is 16 and pregnant and not married, it's better to have already talked about the biology of it," she said.

As a cautionary tale for parents avoiding the subject, she tells the story of a mother whose daughter came home after her third week of kindergarten, telling her she had made a new friend.

"But I don't think you'll let me go over to her house," the child told her mother. She couldn't go to her new friend's house because the girl said she routinely watched her 16-year-old brother have sex after school before their parents got home.

"And that mother was me," Ridley said.

Because she had been having ongoing conversations with her children, Ridley's daughter already new her friend's situation wasn't right, and she felt comfortable talking to Ridley about it.

"If I had never said anything to my daughter first, she probably would have never told me [what her friend said], but she would have thought sex was for 16-year-olds, and other people watch," Ridley said.

Never Too Late

Ridley said her experience, while close-to-home, is a warning to other parents about what their children are hearing in school, society or the sandbox.

Ridley said, "It's up to parents to make the first impression."

"You lose credibility when you never talk to your children and the night before prom you're knocking on the door saying, 'We need to talk. You're now wearing a dress that looks like a nightgown, and we need to talk.' Then they just think, 'You don't trust me.'"

On the other hand, it's never too late. If you've already dropped the ball on talking about the subject early on, don't make the situation worse by hiding, Ridley said.

"They want to hear your voice," she said. "If you refuse to address sex, you're leaving a huge part of their lives up for grabs."

One benefit of talking about sex early is that "children don't know it's an awkward situation," Riley said. "We work against ourselves [by] waiting for our children to be at a self conscious age to bring up an awkward subject. It's a double-whammy."

While it's important to open early on, Ridley encourages parents not to deal with the danger and pleasures of sexual intercourse at a young, preteen age.

"It's a mature topic and it's not necessary; stick with biology and values," she said.