The thing is, I've found love and I feel my single self slipping away. Love was one of my goals, and yet now that I have it I miss some of the things I did when I thought I was miserably alone.

Sometimes I think I would rather have the carefree single lifestyle than the commitment of a serious relationship. When I'm enjoying a low-key night with my love, why does it feel like others are out having an amazing time without me?

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And it's not like the times before I had love were entirely fabulous. I can't say watching sad, romantic movies on Sundays was fabulous, but I miss it. Those times were often tough, but they were mine.

Don't get me wrong, I'm mad about the guy I'm dating, and I have crazy times with him. I just want to hold onto my single self -- until I'm married, I'm single as far as I'm concerned. And even if I do get married, I still plan on finding time for me.

My friend Melissa insists on becoming the twin of her boyfriend, minus the matching outfits. I respect her desire to devote energy to the love of choice, but I miss Melissa as I knew her.

It's great when a friend finds someone that interesting, especially when things are just blossoming, but it's not so great when she loses herself in the process. People change all the time, but changing for someone else is not the way to go.

In you find yourself in an effort to keep your single self thriving, I've devised a few rules.

Go out. Don't worry about leaving him or her behind on certain nights. If you're going to hold on to your independence, it's important to keep your social life going. Sure, it can also be fun to have him or her come along, but sometimes it feels better not to be part of a couple every so often.

Maintain your friendships. Just because you're taken doesn't mean you should leave your friends -- especially the single ones -- behind. It's harder to get lost in a relationship if you keep in touch and spend time with people who knew you before.

Don't cancel plans with others. It is generous to change plans to accommodate your significant other, but don't make it a habit. While you may find the time with him the most fun, you also have to remember that time with others is just as important to you.

Keep your own interests. There is nothing more lame than giving up something you enjoy for someone who doesn't share the appreciation. I hate to admit that in one relationship I stopped listening to Barbra Streisand because he hated it. Bad example?

A major benefit of a relationship, or a friendship for that matter, is that you're given the opportunity to expand your interests, not limit them. Just don't give up too much to find time for his breakdancing passion.

Keep parts of your worlds separate, if necessary. Along with maintaining your own friends, it can help to have times with work colleagues or other associates that don't involve your significant other. He may be the most important part of your life, but you are more than his girlfriend.

Find alone time. Don't feel guilty about wanting and needing to be alone. No matter how much fun you have with your significant other, everyone needs a little time to himself. Even if you live together you can go shopping by yourself, go for a run or shut your door and read a book.

Respect his or her alone time. Along with your desire to find alone time, make sure you respect your partner's similar needs. There is more than one "I" in "relationship." Hopefully, you can manage to have those alone times coincide.

I remember how fun it was being footloose and living the life of a party girl. I also know how amazing it feels to be in love, to find someone who makes me understand what I've been missing.

If you find the person who makes your heart beat more strongly, you should be willing to make some adjustments. Take time to share in his preferred past-times, and make some room for him in your world.

Maybe this Sunday I'll find one of my favorite sappiest movies and ask him to watch with me. It won't be the same, but it may be the best of both worlds.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.