TAFT, Calif. -- A man accused of murdering his girlfriend’s 3-year-old daughter appeared before a judge Friday. Kern County deputies say 26-year-old Eric Foster killed Trinity Hanna.

Many in the community are trying to understand what causes a woman to stay in an abusive relationship where her children could be in danger.

Counselors at the Alliance Against Family Violence say while there is no excuse for failing to protect a child, there are reasons.

They say sometimes even though the woman is being abused, she is unaware her children are being abused, too.

"Sometimes women come through here and they think they have been very protective and cautious when it comes to their children, and we often hear, 'Well he's not hurting the kids, he is just hurting me,'" said Taniel Green-Wood, a social worker at Alliance Against Family Violence.

The experts say oftentimes the woman is just as much a victim as the children and may have trouble spotting the signs of abuse.

"When we talk about placing blame, it is always going to be on the perpetrator," Green-Wood said.

She said being a victim of childhood abuse often causes women to choose abusive mates when they grow up.

"They are used to growing up in unhealthy relationships, and that’s what they gravitate to. So what we do at Alliance is we try to teach them about healthy relationships," Green-Wood said.

Alliance also teaches women how to protect their children from abuse.

"One of the classes that we teach is ‘Teach to Protect,’ and literally we teach women how to protect their children, because sometimes they don’t always react," Green-Wood said.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation and needs help, call the Alliance Against Family Violence's 24/7 hotline at 661-327-1091